I cut firewood on Saturday for a few hours and had one of the worst runs of luck that I have had in ages and ages.

I started off the day by not calling one of my friends. I thought he was going to call me and we were going out to cut wood, but it turns out that I had promised to call him when I was ready. I hate to goof up like that. Sometimes my mind is like an eight track tape, skipping randomly from one channel to the next, leaving out some of the best hits.

Any way, another friend of mine came up and we took off to the woods together. That was when the bad luck turned worse started.

So, here we were, out at the crack of dawn (well, actually it was 10 a.m. before he arrived) attempting to round up some much-needed wood. I have burned through most of my limited stockpile, leaving behind only pieces of poplar and half-rotted pieces of old oak.

Those don't last too long in the stove. Stacking the stuff on the ground didn't help much, either. Now some of it is so soaked it will put all but the hottest fire out.

I was looking for the kind of locust and oak that linger in the fireplace, stuff that is hard and heavy. I ended up with a lot of maple, cucumber (I wonder how that will burn?), birch and a little hickory. I also found some kind of wood with a star pattern in the middle. I suspect that it is an old hickory tree.

After I wrote about having a woodstove the last time, I had one friend to give me all the wood I wanted. All I had to do was come and cut it up. So far I have fetched out about three loads from his place. I really appreciated that. I will probably be back there to clear up some more, if the weather ever breaks.

However, this past Saturday, I had several downed trees on my land that I needed to clean up. I cut several down to make way for my new building, the construction of which has been stalled for some time. The weather has stalled a lot of things.

I got halfway over there and realized that I had left my gate keys in my car and I was driving my pickup truck. I went back for the keys and still managed to forget my checkbook, an action that robbed me of my dinner. Ok, so maybe I am doing the cuss, cry and moan today. I just hate it when I do stupid stuff that could easily be avoided.

Well, my friend and I got most of the wood cleaned up and were preparing to cut a little more when I started my saw and the cord came out of it in my hand. On the bright side, the last pull started the saw, so I didn't have to quit halfway through.

We filled the saw up with gas about halfway through what was left and managed to finish without killing the motor. I deemed this as a major accomplishment, especially considering the fact that I always kill the motor on my saw several times a day by binding it up on something.

Then I turned the saw off and realized that I had left some wood over to the side that I forgot to cut up. Oh well, maybe next time.

My friend took off with his load of wood and I went down in the woods to mark some trees and lost my cell phone, which I just recently purchased for about $70. That's not the end of it, either. On the phone was my directory of phone numbers.

I had planned on moving all the numbers over to a paper system soon, but I didn't get it done before I managed to lose the phone. Procrastination rears its ugly head.

I was marking the trees so I would know which ones to leave in place when I cut out for my field. I have a few acres, but it is all wooded to some degree. I plan on sowing grass and making a place for some kind of livestock. I also need a bigger garden spot.

At any rate, I went to look for the cell phone and fell down a bank, effectively filling my pants with mud and snow. I had also forgot to bring a change of clothes.

So I just went into the house, half frozen, and cleaned up and stood in front of the gas stove until I had unthawed partially. Then I had to wait another hour or so for my clothes to dry.

I just knew someone was going to pull up while I had my pants soaked and I would have to put those cold, wet things back on and answer the door. Thankfully, I had no company.

After my clothes were tolerably dry but still damp, I went back out to find the cell phone. I went to the last place I used it and I also followed my tracks in the snow, wincing painfully when I came to the place where I fell and filled my britches with snow, with no luck at all.

I really do hate trying to find something frantically and having no success. That is almost as much fun as a trip to the dentist.

I am still without a cell phone and I still haven't fixed the saw. I can do without the phone, but this time of year I need my saw. Perhaps I should have purchased better equipment.

I opted for the "el cheapo" special, about $150 brand new. I figured I could use it for a couple of years and throw it away. I have already had to spend $25 once before to have it serviced. This will cost me about $25 more.

Take my advice, spend a little more and get a good saw. It will be worth it to you in the long run, if for nothing other than bragging rights.

In the end, I had lost about $100 and a day's time for a small load of wood, which wasn't even the kind I wanted to start with - not to mention having snow down my pants and having to do all that work. I could have had two loads delivered, split and stacked for about the same price. I think I will just stay in bed next time and pay someone to bring me a couple loads of wood. I might get up to write them a check.

Then again, if it wasn't for the little adventures of life, where would we be? All those glorious ups and downs are what make living worthwhile.

Get more tongue in cheek commentary this week's issue of the Alleghany News!

Email: allnews@ls.net