I'm not really sure when it happened, but at some point I developed a cough. I think it sort of sneaked in on me, a little chortle or ‘ahem' one afternoon that turned into a full-blown hack by the following day.

Saturday evening I went to the mud sling to take pictures and I don't remember coughing there. By Sunday morning, I was coughing a little. By Sunday evening, I was coughing a little more. Monday morning I packed up my camera, put the cough in my shirt pocket and went on in to work. (Notice I didn't call it ‘my' cough. I don't want to take ownership of something like this. If anyone wants it, please let me know. I'm not willing to share—take it all or take nothing).

But it's summertime, I thought, no one should cough in the summer. That should be reserved for wintertime and smoky indoor air, after all, that's the season for sharing bacteria and viruses with friends and family. Summertime is for picnics, fishing, camping and everything but coughing. But, season or not, I'm dealing with it—at least until it suddenly and mysteriously goes away.

Well, that's what I want to happen, anyway.

Perhaps the cough stork accidentally dropped it off at the wrong house and will return soon to pick it up. "I'm sorry sir, but we've made an errant delivery," he might state. "I know I gave you a cigar and congratulated you on having a bouncing full-blown cough, but please return it so I can deliver it to its rightful owner."

In trying to take care of the problem, I turned to menthol cough drops, which proved mostly futile, but did help fumigate my sinuses. Sadly, they were already clear and the experience was little more than that—an experience.

After sucking down most of a bag of cough drops just for fun, I had stained my tongue a brilliant cherry color and had really fresh breath as I choked.

I decided to turn to over-the-counter cough medicine. In this case, it really was over-the-counter, since we keep our medications in one of the high cabinets over the kitchen counter. With children around, it's never a good idea to put medicines in a room that kids frequently use with the door closed. After all, no kid wants to spend too much time in the kitchen alone.

After taking the syrup, I was hoping for cessation, but that didn't happen. Instead of coughing once every minute, I coughed once every minute-and-a-half. Now that's improvement! By late Monday afternoon, I was ready for something a little stronger. So, I walked across the street to the pharmacy and picked up a bottle of behind-the-counter cough medicine. While it did affect the cough, it still failed to stop it completely.

However, in following the recommended dosage, I managed to spend most of the late evening hours watching the ceiling fan spin around. Unfortunately, it wasn't turned on. On the bright side, it did help me get a good night's sleep and come into work with both me and my cough well rested and ready for a big day at the office.

In my humble opinion, I may be struggling with a case of bronchitis. However, unless I need antibiotics, it's likely that I know what might happen at the doctor's office. I would visit with my favorite doctor, who would tell me that I have a cough. "Here's a prescription for cough syrup," he might say. Of course, the syrup would be the same stuff I got from the pharmacy, but it would cost me the $20 co-pay for the insurance and another $10 to $20 to pay for the syrup. As it was, I paid some $14 for the bottle of syrup and went home without spending time reading magazines in the lobby.

Since I don't subscribe to any magazines, I sometimes enjoy looking at some of the articles. However, I don't want to go to the doctor to catch up on my reading.

I've heard complaints about old magazines in waiting rooms, but I might note here that if you don't read any magazines, they're all brand spanking new. Of course, that one about the best new cars of 1999 might be a little bit dated, but since two-thirds of the automobiles at my house are older than that, maybe not.

I've been told it could be allergies, but as far as I know, I don't have any unusual allergies to deal with. In fact, the only thing I know of that I'm allergic to is Zest soap and one of those perfumed washing powder off brands.

So, I don't know what might be causing me to choke and cough; however, it feels like the sudden onset of emphysema to me right now.

Don't get me wrong, my father suffered from that stuff for several years and I don't take it lightly, but this cough I've developed is about to drive me crazy.

I can remember coughing until my ribs and chest hurt in the past, so I've tried not to over do it. However, it isn't that easy to cough easy.

So far two of my co-workers have offered me medications or other coughing aides. At first I thought it might have something to do with compassion, but I think my constant hacking is even grating on their nerves.

I can't say as I blame them. They didn't sign up for death watch on the sick ward when they came to work this week.

But it's not exactly a picnic in the park for me, either.

I was trying to think of someone who had been around me that was sick lately, but I can't think of anyone. If I could, at least I would have someone to blame this stuff on. As it is, I'm wondering how I could be the only one on the planet with a bad case of July whoopin' cough. Mama always told me I would be special.
 

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