It's been a strange few days for me, including the first-ever recorded cancellation of the family-wide Thanksgiving dinner. My mother, who had taken ill with a bronchial infection and a subsequent back injury, opted not to have everyone over on Thanksgiving. She had caused herself a compression fracture to her back while coughing, so she was dealing with a goodly amount of discomfort. I completely understand, but I also regret that we didn't have the gathering somewhere else.

At any rate, since I had already thawed out about a 14-pound turkey, I decided I would go ahead and cook it. I may be eating turkey until July. I always inject my turkeys with some sort of homemade concoction in order to infuse moisture. This year, I used a mixture of strained Italian dressing, ranch dressing, soy sauce and vinegar blended with ginger, garlic, onion and other seasonings. It tastes better than it sounds. Turkey is almost too dry to be edible for me if it isn't infused with something, so I typically try to make sure it stays moist. I can barely stand any meat that turns out dry, that's why I eat most meats about half-cooked. That doesn't apply to poultry, pork and most fish.

It was my first Thanksgiving without my entire family, although we all have plenty for which to be thankful. Some people would be thankful for having holidays without their family, but that isn't the case for me. Many families don't get along and the holidays turn into more of a time of arguments and difficulties.

My family is mostly harmonious, which is a blessing to be sure. We have never suffered through difficulties and strife the way some others have. My sisters and I have loved and supported one another through the years and, so far as I know, none has any reason for ill will.

We are politically different, socially and economically different and even religiously somewhat different, but we all come together at the holidays. Or at least we did until this year.

I hope we can gather again around Christmas time, although you never know how things will turn out. Even if it doesn't work out, I'm sure it will be fine.

My mother, unlike me, isn't really crazy about the idea of family gatherings. She considers it a problem to have that many people in the house (even when she isn't sick) and often complains about the mess. I'm not trying to be critical here, she really loves us all and has been an excellent mother and grandmother. However, she would be just fine with it if we all just came over individually, stayed a few minutes and went on our merry way.

You have to remember, this is a woman who toothbrushes the grout, cleans over the door facings and polishes the cabinet doors. Her idea of a good time is sitting back and admiring her reflection in the countertop.

I'm not exactly that way, myself. I revel in the busy nature of the thing, in the rich tapestry of conversation, the laughter of children, the music and singing, the exchanging of gifts and the sharing of food. The mess is just fine by me, too.

In today's society, when people are separated by telephone wires and computer screens more often than they are gathered around a big family table, it's refreshing to be together.

I'm sure that those who came before us, the large families and the gatherings for special meals were one of the few joys of life. Those were the days when the quality of the harvest was to be celebrated, since that was all that was between the family and eating snowballs all winter.

For me, I can honestly say that the holidays are a special time, even if everyone isn't able to be together.

One thing's for sure, there were no casseroles at my meal this year. I had sweet ‘taters (yams are for Yankees), mashed potatoes with turkey gravy, greens, cranberry sauce and the rest of the usual trimmings.

While the food was good and the meal was enjoyable, it's always difficult to spend a holiday without the entire family.

In a way, it led me to the realization that I am the patriarch of my family now. I would never have considered myself as being a patriarch, but with the passing of my father, I am the only man left in my immediate family.

In fact, with most of my father's family deceased, I am one of only two men left in my generation, one of only three in total still surviving.

Out of six brothers, only two had sons (that we know of). It makes me feel saddened that the days of yore are already passed. I'll never again taste my grandmother's holiday dinners, nor will I be able to see one of those hand-cut white pine trees with the great big lights that my other grandmother always had in her living room.

I also can realize how alone my father must have felt. After my grandmother died, he really didn't spend much time with his brothers. His father, my grandfather, died in the late 1960s. The same happened once my mother's mother died as well.

However, I'm going to do my best to make sure that the same doesn't in my immediate family. The connection to one's roots are far too important to be severed.