I was thinking today about clichés and sayings that we often hear and how inaccurate they often are. Even so, those statements are considered to be facts, things that are so true that they have become their own catch phrase.

For instance, "I'll believe it when I see it," comes to mind. Now why would we need to believe in something we can see? We have to believe in things that can't be seen. We know things we can see are there (at least most of the time).

The companion statement to that is, "Seeing is believing." Seeing is knowing, believing is something else entirely. Others such statements are also incorrect in many ways. Someone said to me the other day, "A picture is worth 1,000 words." I felt inclined to disagree, since I knew better. This one is wrong in more ways than one, especially since photo editing software can now do all sorts of things to pictures.

I'll have to give credit to this original thought to a former editor of the newspaper, who once informed me at lunch that he actually took the time to line up copy with a picture box and manually count the number of words necessary to fill the box.

I, on the other hand, used the computer to count for me and even to draw the corresponding boxes of the same size. As technologies change, so do the methods we use to attain results. Nonetheless, those results remain pretty much the same.

As for the 1,000-word picture, it is worthy to note that a picture actually is worth 446 to 560 words, depending on the size of the picture and whether or not you include the cutline (photo caption). Of course, that's also assuming 10 point Times copy and standard photo sizes of three newspaper columns wide by 4.5 to 5 inches tall. It also depends on whether or not the words are in standard copy formats, with capitalization, paragraph breaks and indentations.

It would take a very big picture to be worth about 1,000 words, probably about 9 inches tall by three columns wide—in layman's terms, that measures about six inches wide by nine inches tall. On a recent test of that theory, I ended up with 974 words in a photo box that size, to be exact.

While it isn't good to underestimate the value of pictures, this entire column probably won't be much more than 1,000 words, all told. I often wonder who came up with that sentiment to begin with. Probably some newspaper editor who was trying to pressure his staff to take more pictures. "If you don't get me a good picture, I'll make you write another 1,000 words." To which each reporter would tell one another, I've got a picture to take this evening. "A picture's worth a 1,000 words," comes the reply, thus perpetuating the myth. I was also listening to another person talk who noted, "Don't judge a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes."

Well, I'd say that one had a noble beginning, but most people will beat you up if you try to take their shoes. Besides, there's something strangely personal about a pair of shoes. I know I don't want to wear anyone else's.

If I had written that one, I would have said, "Don't judge anyone." Isn't that much better without invoking all that mental imagery of stinky socks and stolen shoes? Simpler is always better.

A more personal cliché is one I often hear at home. "I saved $30 today at the grocery store."

This one seems so obviously wrong that I can't imagine anyone having the gaul to say it out loud. However, it has been said to me more than once in good faith.

First of all, you spend money at the grocery store, not save money. Granted, if you get discounts and use coupons, you might spend less money than you would have had you not gotten discounts and used coupons. However, that money isn't saved, it just isn't spent.

The best way to save money is to not spend any of it. If the clothing is 30 percent cheaper than it was last week and you buy some, it doesn't mean you saved anything. You actually saved your money last week when it was full price and you didn't buy any clothes. Will Rogers once said, "The best way to double your money is to fold it over and stick it back in your pocket." Now there's a cliché that I can agree with.

Along those lines, Ben Franklin was known for saying, "A penny saved is a penny earned." That's taking the whole thing in the other direction, but it does make a valid point. If you don't spend the pennies you have today, you won't need as many tomorrow. Unless you neglect maintenance to try and save money and then have to replace things that might have lasted much longer. After all, a stitch in time saves nine.

Besides, a penny saved is still just a penny and that isn't even enough to buy a piece of bubble gum these days. And don't try saving too many, or you'll end up spending a Saturday evening attempting to roll up your giant bottle full, if it doesn't break through your bedroom floor first, only to realize you worked for eight hours and only managed to roll up $27.50 in loose change.

It's much better to leave them in the jar as a trap for potential thieves, placing a little silver on the bottom layer of a clear jug as bait to get the would-be crooks to suffer severe back trauma in trying to steal your life savings.

When my house was broken into a few years ago, I only had acquired about half gallon of change, which was taken without remorse. Since then, I haven't amassed another coin fortune.

It looks like my time to write this week's column has come to an end. So, until next week, keep it between the lines on the sunny side with the wind at your back. And don't take any wooden nickels—unless, of course, you plan a trip to the Wooden Nickel Historical Museum in San Antonio, Texas.

Get more tongue in cheek commentary this week's issue of the Alleghany News!

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