"Why aren't you wearing a jacket?" The question seemed simple enough, but, like many questions, the answer is the real kicker."I lost it."

How can a grown man lose his only fall jacket–the new jacket that was purchased only last year for the express purpose of wearing it in the damp spring and cool, breezy fall seasons? I don't know, but I wish I did.

So, the follow-up question, followed by a smirk was, "Have you looked for it?"

"No, I really like being cold, so I intentionally lost it and then intentionally decided not to remember where I might have seen it last so I couldn't change my mind later," I said sarcastically. The only coat I have that is appropriate for the season is a lined flannel shirt that my father used to wear when he was working around the house. It has more holes than good fabric, but I still can't part with it. Even so, it's just not appropriate to wear to a business meeting.

In the meantime, I have two nice winter coats, but with temperatures in the 40s and 50s and the sun shining, it seems a bit ridiculous to be the only one dropping kids off at school in a parka. I'm sure some of the parents might wonder if our family is Eskimo. Who knows, maybe I'll have a few friends over to the igloo for seal blubber and fish soup.

Anyway, I was getting ready to call a few of the places I was when I last saw the jacket, a black Dockers number with a brown collar, when I realized I had another problem. I'd also lost my glasses again. Now I wonder if they were in the jacket, or if they were actually lost some other time. In defining loser, is that a person who keeps losing things? I hope not.

I've always been absent minded to some degree, often finding myself heading to the car with no keys and needing to go back to find them, laying my cell phone down and being forced to go fetch it or leaving my coat or hat behind when visiting someone. But it does seem like a body would learn sooner or later that there are better options than going through life always looking for something that you had just a minute ago.

The worst part is that I often have false memories when I try to force my brain to remember what happened. I can pull out a glimpse of something I did with an item, but it may not be the most recent thing. That leaves me looking for the item everywhere I might have used it in the past few weeks. Usually when I find it, I have a "now

I remember" moment. Sadly, I seldom have those beforehand. When looking for a missing item, that's also when I find some of the other things I've lost. Still, there are things that are never found— items that go into that great unknown, the same place where socks end up between the time they leave my feet and then cycle through the washer and dryer. These are the mysteries of life that are too complex to be understood by mortal man. Some socks never return, some keys are lost forever and only those wise enough to buy six identical pairs and to make extra copies of their key ring come out for the better in the long run.

Yes, those of us who are memory deficient find ways to cope with our condition.

For instance, I keep a spare key to the house in my truck and carry around all the keys I might need to get into anything to which I have access. I keep a spare set of keys to each vehicle at home, just in case I goof up and lose a set or lock them in the truck. (I do that at least two or three times a year). If I don't carry all the keys I might possibly ever need, I find myself ending up somewhere with no way in and I have to drive all the way back to find the keys. I also keep a warm hat and gloves in the truck in case I'm out somewhere and get cold, knowing that I might not remember to bring them along otherwise.

That's why I keep my list of things to do, both at work and at home. Sometimes people call me to ask me to do something and I ask them to call me back at work to remind me. It isn't that I don't want to help them, it's just that I'm not likely to remember if I don't have the same knowledge with me when I get to work. If I write notes at home, I sometimes lose them, so it's just better to keep the work at work and the home, well you get the picture.

Even with all these troubles, I don't really think the entire problem is with my memory so much as it is with my pre-occupation with any individual task I happen to be performing. I tend to get absorbed, or engrossed, in my work and forget everything else. If I am doing something and get ‘side-tracked' on something else, the first task is quickly forgotten.

I find myself getting caught up in conversation at the store and I forget what it was that I went to buy. In preparing ahead, I usually keep a grocery list on the refrigerator. Then again, I often forget to take it with me when I go to the store. That refrigerator is just too heavy to lug around.

If I am cooking something, I have to stay in the room with the food or I will certainly forget all about it and end up putting out a fire before supper. If I am running water in a bucket, I know to stand nearby or I will leave it and the water will end up running down the driveway. With the cost of my water bill these days, I can't afford many mistakes like that.

I heard a joke not long ago about memory troubles. A fellow and his wife were worried because they were starting to forget things, so they went to the doctor. "Doc, we can't remember anything," the man complained. "Do you think we might have Alzheimer's?" After running a few tests, the doctor assured them they were fine. "Just write things down on a notepad," he said, handing each of them a little pad of paper and a pen. "My wife and I do it all the time."

Upon returning home, the couple were in the living room when the husband had an urge for ice cream. "Do you want some, dear?" He asked his wife. "Yes, I'll take vanilla with chocolate syrup and a spoon of peanut butter," she said. "And whipped cream and a cherry on top," she added quickly.

He agreed and said, "I'll be right back."

"Aren't you going to write it down?" She asked.

"I can remember something as simple as that," he chided.

So he headed back to the kitchen and she heard several banging sounds as she waited patiently for her request. After about a half hour had passed, her husband returned with a plate of bacon and eggs with a big fresh cup of coffee. "What's this?" She asked.

"The breakfast you asked for, dear," he said.

"I knew you wouldn't remember without writing it down," she said succinctly. "You forgot my toast."

That story really describes the way I've been feeling lately.

One fellow I know is on several kinds of medication daily and he can remember things as well as I do. For instance, I saw him the other day and he reminded me that I owed him $5. I had forgot all about that. In fact, I still can't remember it, but I paid him just to be safe.

I was at church the other day and left my coffee cup and my Bible there and had to call back and get someone to put it up for me so I could pick it up later that evening. Until I called, I really didn't remember where it was. I thought I might have left it on the top of the car and drove away, the way I did once with a cup of coffee and ended up covering most of the car with my morning refreshment. Isn't it odd how a whole bucket of suds barely washes a car, but one cup of coffee seems to cover the entire thing?

I can't complain about the way things are going, though. I also tend to forget the bad things that happen around me fairly quickly as well. When your memory is short, it is much easier to live for today.

I remember talking with an old carpenter one day who told me he couldn't find any good help. "These young boys think they know everything," he said. "Why, by now I've already forgotten more than most of them will ever learn." I wonder, will I be there some day?

My long-term memory remains fairly sharp, with few or no noticeable flaws, but short-term is where I have the trouble. I've also noticed that I call people and places by the wrong names and don't even notice that I've done it. I was thinking of one fellow the other day and said the name I thought was his, but really I called another man's name instead. I didn't even know I'd done it and wondered why no one knew who I was talking about when I mentioned his wife. The man I named wasn't married, but shared a first name with the man I thought I named. I'm beginning to wonder if any of that description came out making sense.

Anyway, I hope this doesn't get worse with age. By the time I'm 60, I hope not to be a blathering idiot who's unable to recall his own name. I remember my grandparents calling several names before getting the right one for a grandchild and thinking, "I'll never do that." One thing I've learned, never say never.

I have been on the go quite a bit lately and maybe I just need a break. In fact, for the past 11 days I have had something to do every night of the week, without any break behind me or soon to be in sight. What with the trip to Washington, needing more time practicing with the musicians at church and a couple of busy weeks at the newspaper, including weekend events this past week, I really haven't had that one day to go to bed early and sleep late that everyone needs once in awhile. So, what I'm saying is that I haven't had a good restful break since I can't remember when. But that's the problem, isn't it? Now, what was it that we were we talking about, anyway?

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