I have managed to make more progress on my new porch, almost in spite of myself.

I had just been bragging about my safety record on my latest construction project when things started going wrong. Of course, safety isn't what I was thinking about until after the accident.

It all started to go wrong when I opted to use a 5-gallon bucket, turned upside down, for a step ladder. Although my regular ladder, which also makes a step ladder, was leaning against the side of the house about 10 feet away, I still took the bucket because it was handy and I needed to reach the rafters on the house side of my porch. After having moved it several times, nothing happened until the bucket was perched precariously near the edge of the porch, no less than two feet above the ground. And, it goes without saying, it also was on the side with partially constructed steps. At that time, all I had there were the two cut pieces running to the ground, with some scrap lumber dropped in the gap between on the ground.

As I was standing on the bucket about halfway down the porch, I noticed one side was beginning to bend slightly under my weight at the top. "They don't make buckets like they used to," I thought. By the time I got to the end, it was bending a little more, but it was the last one. Surely there wouldn't be a problem on the last one, right?

Just as I was getting ready to climb off the bucket, it collapsed and shot off the side of the porch, sending me falling straight off the edge. I landed directly on my shin on the corner of the porch before tripping over the stair risers to fall down the bank into the weeds near the fence, narrowly missing the clothes line. As a side note here, there wouldn't be weeds there if someone had used the string trimmer over the weekend instead of devoting all of his time to building a new back porch.

After flopping around like a catfish on the river bank for a few minutes while holding my leg and wondering if I was going to kick the bucket, I came back to my senses.

I followed my typical pain protocol, offering up a rousing chorus of "Jesus Loves Me" again before I managed to climb back onto the porch to look at my leg.

It was bleeding a little from a cut, with a hole the size of a dime and a line about four inches long below it caused by the side of the porch. I would later learn that I was the lucky recipient of a dollar- bill-sized bruise as well. The spot of injury was only about three inches from the place where I dropped the piano on my leg earlier this year. Although I spent a bit of time whining from the pain, to my credit, it didn't stop me from working the rest of the day.

I also managed to get two big glasses of ice water down during the break, which probably did more for my constitution than the antibiotic cream, adhesive bandage and ice pack. Ice water has become my drink of choice lately, especially since I stopped having soda pop and such around the house. Since we have a charcoal water filter on the tap, even the city water we drink is quite enjoyable. I don't think anything can quench a real thirst like a tall glass of ice water.

Limping slightly, I climbed back on the roof and started attaching the plywood decking. Soon afterwards, while raising a sheet to the roof, I managed to drop it on my other leg. I should have quit for the day right then. By the time it was over, I had also managed to smash my hand twice, get poked by a nail and trip over a board. I feel lucky to be alive.

It's funny how days can be like that. I'd already spent some four or so days on this project and hadn't had any real trouble. Then, the next thing you know, I'm ready for the hospital ward with multiple contusions, abrasions, punctures and whatever you call those red hash marks you get when you fall on a sheet of lattice.

Maybe we start some sort of an accident-prone mindset when we first start to have problems, as if we are fulfilling a prophecy of sorts. All I know is, after the day was over, my whole body felt like I had been beaten by a fairly large and dangerous man. Of course, that's purely speculation on my part, but probably not without merit.

Still yet, despite my own inadequacies and errors, the progress on the porch is moving along nicely. I have the roof decking in place, after finding out that I had mis-spaced about two thirds of my joists due to one incorrect measurement on one end. Luckily, it was an easy problem to correct by moving a few brackets over by an inch or so.

This time, I opted to stand on a proper scaffold, foregoing the bucket near the highest side of the porch, which is a little over three feet off the ground.

I plan to order the roofing this week. I hope to get some of that new colored stuff and later put it on the whole house. But that's a job for next year, if I survive this one.

I also have the rails around the edge of the porch in place, except for the side where I plan to place the main entrance. Those stair risers are cut and ready to install, so maybe they'll be in later this week. Once I get the two gates for the entrances cut, I should be nearing completion. I opted again for my lattice rail design, since it costs about half what some of the other options might go for and it makes for a nice finish.

My next task will be putting up the porch light and then the ceiling panels, which I already have stacked on the front porch near the wood from the piano that I still haven't put to use for anything. That would put it in the same class as many of the other materials around the house that lay in wait for my attention.

Luckily, the weeds are almost high enough to keep any of those things from distracting me.

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