Sometimes it seems I have a weekend that I don't even remember—and not for the usual reasons people don't remember the weekend, either. I stopped doing that sort of stuff when I decided I should have had better sense. I'm not sure if I have attained better sense or not, but at least I don't have a liquid excuse for doing stupid things or forgetting weekends.

To make a long sentence short, this past weekend went by so quickly it hardly seems like it even happened. Sometimes it seems like my entire life is going by at an accelerated speed, going faster and faster as each day passes. Sadly, there's no way to slow this trip down; all we can do is make the most of the ride. I don't want to finish the trip and wish I'd spent more time hanging my head out the window enjoying the breeze instead of sleeping or wishing I was somewhere else. However, while I'm on the subject, I'll note that I recently received a message from a friend who suggested, "Live a good life, that way when you are old you can enjoy it a second time." I think that is good advice for anyone.

As for this past weekend, I spent a good portion of it at the hillclimb on Doughton Mountain Road in Laurel Springs and the rest working around the house.

I managed to get the lawn mowed, cut down part of the knee-deep weeds on the banks near the house, paint and install a new (used) door in the bedroom and paint and put down baseboard in the hallway. In between all this, I also started work on my new back porch, which is the same size as my old back porch. The new one, however, is not rotten and ready to fall to the ground without notice, which I consider a definite plus.

After having a friend help me to remove the old porch, as I think I wrote earlier, I had to put the construction work on hold for a few weeks due to other responsibilities, like going to work.

Upon starting the job, I soon realized a few important facts. First, it is very hot outside in the sun in August. Secondly, I am not used to working outside for several hours in the hot sun in August. Third, sunblock is a cheap and inexpensive alternative to a painful red and sunburned neck. Fourthly, men who are losing their hair should wear hats, because sunblock in one's remaining hair doesn't do much for the self esteem.

These things having been said, I started working last week by removing the final vestiges of the old porch and part of the siding and then attached a band board to posts planted just outside of the house. With a good solid foundation and treated wood, I feel like I will have built something that will last for at least as long as I do. On the other hand, that may not be much longer if I have to work out in the hot sun all day building porches.

The new porch, unlike the old, will have a roof, which also will help preserve the wood and protect my investment. Not to mention the fact that it will give me a handy place to sit quietly, while not sunburning my head, pondering the mysteries of life. You know, big questions like how the world is passing me by or how long it might take to get my latest piece of beef grilled to half-cooked perfection.

As for the construction progress, I had forgotten how difficult it can be to try and get a piece of new construction square—meaning that the corners are all 90 degree angles. Since I am building a rectangular porch, the word ‘square' seems all the more odd in this case, but building the right way is very important. A tiny misstep in the early stages will lead to terrible problems later. A small variation can make a rectangle into a parallelogram and porch boards, roofing materials and everything else not fit. Being the kind of person who likes to see results quickly, it's always hard for me to patiently get everything perfect in the first stages of building.

It's frustrating to work for hours and have very little to show for it. I don't count moving posts back and forth and digging large holes in the ground.

So much of life is just like that—without the right foundation, nothing else fits properly, things don't work out right and, sooner or later, it will all end up worse than before.

Since my square (a metal tool shaped like the letter ‘L') wouldn't fit between the porch and the band board, I did my best to figure the angles using the post and the sides. After doing more measurements when all four posts were standing, I soon realized that I was at least six inches away from perfect. To check if something is built properly, I measure the diagonals from corner to corner. If the numbers match, it's all good. If they don't, everything has to be moved until they do.

I ended up running out of daylight on Saturday evening, leaving me with small posts planted in concrete and two big posts sticking out of the ground like strange wooden monoliths. Perhaps they are a tribute to my temporary failure, but I consider them a promise of the porch that soon will stand in that place.

It is my sincere hope that I will be able to get the floor built this week so I can walk out the back door without falling some four feet to the ground.

There is nothing like a little real work to help a man remember what terrible shape he is in. After digging those foundation holes in rocky ground, each growing larger as I tried to square up my work, I realized a good deal about my own personal physical condition. Nitroglycerin pills came to mind at one point, but a big glass of ice water and a brief rest in the shade proved sufficient.

Combined with the heat and hot sunshine, there are few things a man can do that will wear him down quicker than using a set of posthole diggers. Once upon a time, I worked a summer building fence. It was hard work, but it wasn't this hard. Whether it is the rose-colored glasses of time or the mere fact of my own aging, I really couldn't say. I may have said earlier that everything seems to go faster as I age, but that doesn't seem to apply when trying to dig holes for a foundation. I've always been told that whatever doesn't kill me will make me stronger. But a near death experience in the hot sunshine behind one's house doesn't do much in the way of giving a man a feeling of omnipotence. However, if it's a heat stroke you're interested in, I feel almost sure that I can help.

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