I got a call from my mother the other day, who informed me that she is planning a yard sale.

That sounded great to me, since I do have a number of things that I don't even like and need to get rid of, but don't have the heart to throw away.

Sorting through my belongings, I came up with discarded cassette tapes, unwanted compact discs, several pictures (including some off the walls, like the pink flower vase with the fake gold frame and a couple of miniatures with two little kids on them), an old chair, a laptop computer from the early 1980s, computer games and software and a few other things.

Meanwhile, I loaded said items into Corona boxes and a wicker basket and took them over to my parents' house for the sale. By the time I left there, Mom had already picked out several cassettes, the picture that I hated and a CD. I told her she could just have the stuff, because the only reason I brought it for a sale was because I didn't want it in the first place. She wouldn't hear of it.

Of course none of the items had been priced, so she decided to help me. She is quite yard-sale savvy, I soon understood. "Cassettes always go for a dollar," she said, while counting out the Keith Whitley, Trisha Yearwood and two offerings by The Farley Brothers. "That's four dollars," she told me. The picture is called a home insider or inferior or something. "That costed about $30 new," she said, asking why I had it to start with. "I really don't know," I said jokingly, "I think someone threw it away just to scare the rats out of their garbage." "Elt, I like that picture," she said, recovering with, "I'll give you $5." The CDs always go for $3 or $4, she told me, promptly coming up with her own total. I just wish everyone was so easy to get along with at yard sales. Just name your own price and add up your stuff and pay me, please. I would most likely end up out of stuff and out of luck. The old chair and the little computer also sold to other family members who were dropping off stuff for the sale. Talk about early bird shoppers.

I think I am going to have to come up with some more stuff to sell, just to keep the family supplied. When we have a yard sale, we often end up buying each other's stuff so that we don't really get rid of junk, we just end up with different junk. Mom has some of those little painted yard animals that I was wanting to place here and there. If I buy those, then I will at least have gotten rid of inside junk for outside junk. I just can't think of anything I need worse right now than a bird bath and some cement chickens to mow around.

Perhaps some of the others will bring in their rusty tool collections.

The sale isn't going to be until around the second week in April, but by that time we may be out of stuff to sell. That sounds alright to me, I don't really like getting up early on Saturday mornings in the first place.

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