| 117th Year, 18th Issue | Thursday, December 8, 2005 | Sparta, North Carolina |
It’s almost lunch time and I am looking forward to it today. Not that I don’t usually appreciate a good lunch, but it is all the better when breakfast is skipped.
While in college, I had a class on health and nutrition. It was a prerequisite to using the fitness equipment at the school, so I had little choice in the matter if I wanted to work out or walk on the treadmills on rainy days. Since it was basically free, that made it all the more appealing.
At any rate, one of the few things I retained from that class was the fact that the average person can gain eight pounds per year by not eating breakfast. I know it doesn’t make sense at first, since we usually think of gaining weight by eating more food, rather than gaining by skipping a meal.
According to the information given during the class, those who don’t eat breakfast will slow their metabolism, which means their body goes into a conserving mode rather than a calorie burning mode. The end result is, when we do finally eat, our bodies want to store the food to get through the period of induced starvation.
Since I am pretty hungry right now, starvation isn’t something I want to focus on. But, I don’t usually mind skipping a few meals all that much. I’ve been blessed with a pretty good ability to stay busy and keep my mind off things (including eating, if I’m busy enough).
Of course, this morning I skipped breakfast so I could move furniture, which I considered to be an important cause. I finished the trim work on that side of the room and then took breakfast time to put in the furniture. Just to have a place to sit down again is an incredible feeling.
But even so, I can feel that eight pounds already gathering near my midsection, just daring me to try and wear those snug blue jeans again. Maybe I’ll just eat breakfast twice tomorrow to make up for it.
While moving in the furniture, I also made room for a Christmas tree. Yes, it’s Christmas, time for decorations to come out of the woodwork (or at least be attached to it).
Since the big living room is now finished, I now need to focus on getting the rest of the inside of the house in good shape, followed by moving the terrible mess off the front porch and surrounding areas. Most of the salvageable demolition materials either ended up on the front porch or in the yard nearby. Also still out on the porch awaiting attention are my three window air conditioning units, a rake that I should have put away earlier, a cooler that was dropped there sometime ago, a baby changing table that I need to deliver to a friend and a scarecrow who ended up being a fall refugee.
Being the type that has trouble throwing things away and also having the problem of being a bit short on storage room, I had considered stacking it all in the front yard in some sort of attractive Christmas display. When added to the picnic table in front of the house, which somehow always looks oddly out of place this time of year, it looks more like modern art than any type of Christmas display I’ve ever seen.
I feel sure that a ‘modern art nativity’ will be a tough sell for the neighbors. “This pile over here represents Bethlehem and that pile over there represents Mary and Joseph heading in to town. See those nails sticking up? Those represent nails, don’t step on them,” I could tell them. “That fallen stack of wood is a ramshackle stable and that blue tarp..... Well, maybe the stable roof caved in or something. The windows and doors? Stables can have windows and doors, right? How do you think they kept that Christmas donkey from running away?”
Maybe I better stick to the more traditional ornamentation, like the small herd of wire deer covered with lights, the wooden snowman thing and the spiral Christmas tree that always blows over at least twice a day. On a brighter note, perhaps I can lose that eight pounds this year by trying to keep that rickety tree standing. Or by trying to hang precariously off the ladder while stringing those icicle Christmas lights in front of the house. I’d prefer to just hose down the roof, let it freeze and hope the porch light makes it all twinkle, but that would be too easy.
With a place prepared, I recently set out looking for the Christmas tree bargain of the year. Given the fact that most of the trees are at least $30 everywhere I’ve looked, I didn’t expect to find many bargains. Since my last remaining piece of land doesn’t even have a small tree pine or fir on it, I supposed I had little choice but to buy one somewhere.
Soon after starting my search, I found a pretty little tree that would fit right in the corner for about $15. With children around the house, it was best to have one elevated, so I chose about a 4-foot tree this time.
I’d thought about finding one with the rootball attached so I could plant it later, but then I visualized trying to break through the frozen tundra of my lawn in January and the backache from lugging a big ball of dirt around and changed my mind.
Once I get the yard straightened back up, I can start getting out metal deer and giant plastic candy canes. And don’t forget the icicle lights. Oh what fun I’ll have on the ladder, whistling a Christmas song as I go. But I may forego the toppling spiral light-up tree thing. With the work done, maybe I’ll now find time to start a reasonable exercise regimen. Hmm, that tree isn’t so bad.
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