“What are you growing there, grass? Is that some of that astro-turf that they sell now?”

The first questions I had asked about my garden so far, but most likely not the last, were not all that flattering to be sure. Since the garden was part of the yard last year, the turf was still there. When the tractor chopped it all up, it turned the grass over and made the entire plot look like beautiful rich soil. Then I came along with the wheel plow and turned all the grass back over — it wasn’t gone, just upside-down.

I had thought about raking out all the sod, but soon realized that most of the dirt was going with it. I decided to take my chances with the potatoes and then decide what to do later.

I took the day off last Thursday for the express purpose of planting ‘taters. The bag of potatoes was out and ready, the triple-10 fertilizer in the 5 gallon bucket and the wheel plow....Oops. I had gotten out the old wheel plows the week earlier, but had to take them off the truck at my parents’ house to load up some things there and forgotten to load them again.

As for the partial bag of Kennebecs, they were deteriorating quickly in the living room floor. So I did what I could, I stole my friend’s plow. I didn’t really steal it, but I took it after calling him and leaving a message, “Hi, this is Coby, I stole your wheel plow.”

He called me later and told me the good one was in the basement and the one I took was the bad one. I didn’t know the difference. Thankfully, he opted not to press charges since I didn’t take his good one. As the plow ran along the length of the garden, the green grass started turning back up one sod at a time and I began to wonder what I was going to do. Having looked up and noticed storm clouds gathering, I decided to do the fastest thing possible.

I put my fertilizer in the furrow after having plowed it up twice and then plowed it a third time to mix it into the dirt. After that, I put the potatoes in the ground, about one foot apart (one of my feet). I always make sure I put the ‘eyes’ up, just like I was taught. Then I started covering them with the hoe. About halfway through, the rain started. A little while later, I had a big blister on my left hand. Still later, I was wet from head to toe and wishing I had never seen a hoe. Down one side and back up the other, I pulled the dirt over my little ditch.

I always tend to candy-coat my memories until I actually find myself in the middle of a long row of potatoes in the rain with a blister the size of a North Carolina state quarter. It isn’t easy to candy-coat that.

But it was all in the interest of horticulture, which brings us big tomatoes, sweet snap peas, pole beans, fresh corn and, of course, buckets of potatoes to last all winter long.

Last year, I bought potatoes for about $8 a feed sack full. They were supposed to weigh 50 pounds, but after moving enough bags for both my parents and my family, they started feeling like about 150 pounds. At that price, it’s hard to go wrong. But the one thing I missed most was new potatoes, those thin-skinned, subterranean treats that can only be found in one’s own garden around mid summer.

In fact, I would say that I sometimes eat as much or more of the garden’s produce as I go as I can or freeze. Instant gratification. On my day off, I also opted to try and mow the grass (not in the garden, but the rest of the lawn) take a brief fishing trip and still find time to go to bed at 9 p.m. It was hard, but I managed to fit it all in.

I always regret taking a day or two off when I return to work because all of the things you would have done that day are still piled up waiting for you when you get back. While this is definitely not the most difficult job in the world — I think I did that one when I had to clean out the barn and chicken house as a boy — it does tend to stack up on you when you miss part of the schedule.

After playing ‘catch-up’ all day Friday, I decided to play hookie on Saturday since it was raining and looking likely to continue. I took the family to visit some friends in Charlotte. After heading out to visit the really big tool store with one of my friends, I opted to stop in the European grocery store and buy some smoked fish and then grab lunch at a middle eastern deli. Such treats as humus, fried cubed potatoes, mystery meats and unleavened breads awaited. After the meal, I enjoyed several kinds of baklava, a little pastry made with nuts and honey. I always look over the grains on sale, but since I don’t know much about them, I never buy any. Besides, I had already spent all of my money on gas on the way down.

Get more tongue in cheek commentary this week's issue of the Alleghany News!

Email: allnews@ls.net