I am feeling rather uninspired today, as is sometimes the case. I am trying to get this column done quickly, since I have many preparations to do. So here I am, writing this right now because I don't have time to put it off until I feel more motivated. Sometimes motivation is hard to come by without a good kick in the seat of the pants. That being the case, I suppose I better get kicking.

I am planning a family vacation, the time of which is rapidly approaching. In fact, by the time you read this I most likely will be either gone or at least on my way out.

I decided some time ago to take my family to the beach this year. It is not a cheap or easy exercise, but I might be able to come up with enough money if my rich uncle dies and leaves me his fortune or if I don't pay my bills for a few months. So, as I sit in the dark without cable television, I can at least review the memories of my trip. Don't worry, I'll have lots of pictures to share and I'll call and have everyone over as soon as I can get my telephone reconnected.

As for the easy part, I should point out that my parents are going. My father is sun-sensitive due to some of his prescriptions and my mother is afraid of water. That should make some interesting scenarios for a beach trip, shouldn't it?

I don't guess she minds me mentioning this, so I will. My mother has never seen an ocean. We here in the mountains usually call the Atlantic "The Ocean," as if it were the only one. I think everyone should see the waves lapping the shoreline in constant procession, smell the salty air and feel sand between their toes at least once in life.

My late grandmother was also a late bloomer. She finally got to see the ocean in her 80s. She only saw it once before she died.

My mother just wasn't that interested in the past, instead spending most of her time staying busy in her roles as mother, wife and church member. I suppose we all get wrapped up in our own packages, from time to time.

However, being part of a more mobile generation of people, it is hard for me to imagine a life completely devoid of travel. I'm not exactly a globe-trotter, but I have been to Europe and Russia and many places around the United States. However, many of our older generation who were born here seldom ever venture out. I can't really blame them in some ways, I really believe that this is the most wonderful place in the world. If I didn't think so, I would be somewhere else.

Anyway, my mother is still pretty spry in her late 60s and should enjoy herself, even though she vows to not go near the water. They plan to do a lot of evening beach visits and she also wants to go fishing on the pier. My mother loves to fish, so long as she doesn't have to "walk up and down the river" like I do when I trout fish or bass fish. She is more interested in leisure fishing.

At the coast there are plenty of fishing opportunities and I feel sure we will all be able to do some ocean fishing. I was told that it only cost $5 per day to fish on a pier near the hotel, which sounds somewhat like a bargain.

Since I have no experience at ocean fishing whatsoever, I can only hope that all works out with no undue problems. From what I understand, the first of September is as good a time as any to ocean fish and, since that month doesn't end in the letter Y, I should be able to find some crabs to steam while we are there. I love fresh seafood. In fact, I can't think of a time when I have eaten any kind of fresh, properly prepared seafood that I did not like.

One of my friends tells me that all we need are fishing rods and some really big sinkers. I think that sounds pretty reasonable to me. Shrimp make fine bait, he tells me, and you just throw out and wait.

To surf fish, he said you just throw out and reel in until you find the fish and then throw to that same area over and over. Since she doesn't want to be in the ocean (I hope she changes her mind), that would be hard to do.

I also plan to take a brief cruise and do some fishing of that kind, if all goes as planned. Since she has never really been on a boat, either, I might be on my own in that adventure. One friend told me that he and some of his fishing buddies paid $1,400 to charter a boat to the gulf stream. If the prices are that high, my version of deep sea fishing may entail dog paddling a boogie board out to 60 feet off the shore with a fishing rod in my teeth.

My father has done more travel and such in his life, having visited scenic Northern Korea for several years during his military service. Prior to the war, he was stationed in Japan and has also traveled quite a bit, once living in Norfolk, Va. where his father worked in a WWII shipyard.

At least I can take them out to see some of the attractions, like the Battleship North Carolina, the islands off the coast that can be reached by ferry and museums and state park areas. I understand there is a park there with alligators and all sorts of marine life. Since I have only seen an alligator in cooked form, that would be a neat experience for all of us. There is also a new aquarium on the coast that we can visit.

I also would like to go to Fort Fisher, the site of the largest land and sea battle of the Civil War.

Even with all these exciting things to think about, my mind is now concerned with making a packing list of things to take along. I always plan everything in advance for the worst case scenario and then hope for the best. That has been my motto through life and it has served me quite well.

Along those lines, I know I will need sunscreen, since my legs are about the color of fresh copier paper. And with the warnings about mosquitoes that I have been hearing, I will probably take along a few cans of bug repellent, just to be safe. I just hope the repellent and the sunscreen don't mix and form some noxious chemical that might make me turn green or die of fumes.

I figure I will also have to purchase a new pair of sunglasses, since my old ones are so scratched I can barely see through them. Good vision is an important thing to have at the beach, just so you don't have problems with looking the wrong directions at the wrong times. I also plan to take along my folding chair and a small cooler with bottled water and ice packs. I can't forget changes of clothing to last a week, swimming trunks, tennis shoes, my menagerie of personal health and beauty supplies, vitamins, a first aid kid, food for the trip down, a credit card, maps of North Carolina and South Carolina, my fishing rod and tackle, a beach umbrella, beach towels, a big straw hat to shield my face while I fish, sandals for the beach, a frisbee and, if there is any room left, items that I need to pack for the rest of the family. From the look of my list, maybe I need to take a school bus instead of the car.

I feel sure that no matter how much I can find that I simply must take along, my family can outdo me. I actually feel more concerned about the trip back after everyone has loaded down the car with discarded seashells, sand particles, worthless souvenirs, ocean riding toys and T-shirts with stupid slogans on them that end with the words 'at Carolina Beach.'

At least if things don't go well for repacking the car, it will help knowing that the ride back always goes much faster than the ride down. That being the case, I can always fill the floor spaces, back window area and everyone's lap with all this extra stuff. The whole thing reeks of "National Lampoon's Family Vacation," so I won't go further. At least I don't have a station wagon and I do plan to leave the dog at home.

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