REALITY CHECK

Bring on the New Year's resolutions, I say

by Coby LaRue

It would appear that the coming year has already arrived by the time this column makes its own appearance on the pages of the newspaper this week.

However, as I sit writing, the new year is still several days away. With that in mind, you might better understand why I am contemplating on this year's fresh batch of resolutions that likely won't make it through the cold month of January, let alone see the fresh flowers of spring.

Nonetheless, here I sit, typing away and pondering the meaningless. Sounds like a typical week to me.

I have devised a number of areas in my life that could use improvement and decided to expound on each. However, there are countless others that I might be missing. I feel sure those that know and love me most will be quick to point out flaws I might have overlooked.

Coffee — I definitely have a problem with caffeine. As I consider it to be a drug, just as assuredly as are nicotine, alcohol and all those other nasty things we Americans ingest legally in abundance, I must try to lower my consumption thereof. I drink at least three cups of coffee per day. While that might not sound like much, on weekends, I often ingest as many as six cups per day. I find myself growing irritable at times, as well as finding my brain doesn't really start functioning until I have imbibed my morning prescription of delicious Columbian slow-dripped mountain morning roast. In the new year, I will try to cut down to one cup per day of lousy instant coffee, therefore limiting my enjoyment and, hopefully, my caffeine intake.

Soft drinks — I call them all soft drinks, from the brown ones to the clear ones, all are equally evil to the diet and the teeth. Therefore, I would like to completely annihilate both major beverage companies to save the teeth (and waistlines) of the next generation. However, in lieu of doing hard time for such an act, I will instead work on my own consumption. I will endeavor to only drink such beverages at times when no other alternative can be had. In the past, I must admit that I purchased sodas instead of water because I have a problem with paying for water. I will try to get over it this year.

Moving the junk — While I am a lover of junk and all things junky, I need to work on my problem with collecting such items without rhyme or reason to the detriment of my yard. Around the cabin there is currently enough lumber to build a small shanty town in northern Mexico. I plan on using part of that to build an aforementioned woodshed, but the rest I will resolve to stack up, somewhere outside the yard, in a neat and orderly fashion under a suitable roof structure. I will also try to sell, trade or give away any items that are not of any likely direct benefit to me and mine, including, but not limited to, the sets of tires beside my front porch, the hundreds of sheets of glass I picked up on a whim and the several tons of rusted metal that I carried in because it looked 'useful.'

Inventory reduction — In my way of thinking, life is a lot like a business. I bring in money and spend out money. When I bring in more than we spend out, I call that making a profit. On another level, I also have things that I gather or purchase and then sell later when they are of little or no use. I will endeavor to create a complete list of items I do not want and share those with others that I might be able to reduce my inventory and make my life more profitable and less crowded. I currently have items stored in a barn, four buildings, four people's homes and, of course, the aforementioned yard. I would like to get that down to one house and two buildings by the end of next year.

Wardrobe reduction — The other day I went into my old closet at my parents' house and realized that I probably have every shirt that I ever owned, plus several that other people used to own and didn't want. With all the folks out there in need of clothing, it seems a shame for me to have cornered the entire market on used flannel shirts and slightly stained blue jeans. I will endeavor to go through my clothing, pick out the items that I will not likely wear, and donate them to local charities. So what if the Jimmy Buffet tour shirt still gives me a nostalgic feeling? And why would I want to keep clothing that will only fit me again if there is a great famine in the land and my arms are shortened by four inches? I only wish I knew.

Positive Attitude — I want to keep working on my attitude, looking for new reasons to be joyful. So much of living a successful life comes from our attitude. We can be optimistic or fatalistic, the choice is ours. I hope that I can learn to look for the beauty and peace in all things, finding time to enjoy the world and people around me. I want to do whatever I do well with a positive attitude so that I might be an inspiration to others, not a detriment. Sometimes that's easier said than done.

That's the best part about resolutions — even if they fail, we all can benefit from trying to improve.

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