113th Year, 52nd Issue Thursday, August 8, 2002 Sparta, North Carolina

REALITY CHECK

A rock for the stoop can make you stoop

by Coby LaRue

Last week I put in a new stepping stone on my stoop, a large river rock that I found near my property.

I found that the stoop was aptly named, as I had a hard time standing after carrying the large stone to put it in place. Stepping stones are nice to look at, but I find that they are not so nice to move.

I had been ‘aiming-to' put the stone in place for months, but didn't manage to get around to it for awhile. At least partially in my own defense, I couldn't really put a stone in place below the steps until the steps were in place, which didn't happen until about a month ago.

When I rolled the flat rock over and got it into position, I thought of a recent ‘World's Strongest Man' competition that I watched on television. In the competition, the men were required to heft a big flat stone, called an Africa stone because of its shape, and carry it as far as possible.

However, they didn't have to lift it from the ground, which was what I had to do. My stone may not have weighed as much as the one in the competition, but given the size difference between myself and the professionals, I feel it would have been a just competition.

When I had the stone in position to lift, with the smallest end on the ground and the larger end up, I squatted down and wrapped my arms around it. I soon realized that the stone was covered with ants, but it was too late to do anything about that. They were much more interested in their little eggs than in me, thank goodness.

Once I started to stand, I realized that I had forgotten to keep my back straight and I felt something give, ever so slightly.

By that time, the rock was already halfway up and it was no time to be letting go. I went ahead and stood, as best I could, with a portion of the rock between my legs. I waddled it over to the bottom of the steps, attempted to position it as best I could, and let it drop with a dull thud.

Once the rock was out of hand, I realized that I would most likely be ‘stooped' for awhile myself. The full effect didn't hit me until a few hours later, when I had sharp twinges of pain in my lower back when I moved certain ways. Actually, I had sharp twinges of pain when I moved any way.

Back pain is just one of those reminders that is your body's way of telling you, "Don't do that again or I will do this again." I had always heard that if you don't take care of your body, it will not take care of you. But I really felt like someone had taken care of me in a way that only mafia hit men could understand and appreciate. It was near the end of my day of work, so I was able to shore up the bottom of the rock and head in for some food and relaxation. It wouldn't have really mattered if it was in the morning or the evening, once I hefted the rock, I was done. The following week, I got to do my ‘old-man walk' for a few days. I had problems lifting my legs, like to get in my truck, and I couldn't get up and down well.

I didn't require a cane or a doctor's visit, but I can tell you that it wasn't anything pleasant.

I get down in my back, as I've heard folks say, every once in a while. That's why being tall isn't what it's cracked up to be.

Everything is designed for a person about five-feet, eight-inches tall, not a person about six-feet, three-inches tall. I have always heard those of small stature complain about not being able to reach things and not being able to see over things or people at events, but I can tell you that it is much worse to have back problems.

A tall person has to bend to do most everything. Doorways are sometimes too short and I end up bonking myself on the head, most appliances are too low and I have to bend over all the time to wash dishes or cook something. Not to mention the fact that the shower head is almost always set too low for comfort and ceilings are in the way if you want to stretch. Yes, there is something to be said for being the right height for your environment.

Even tools, like rakes and hoes, are made for people of average height. I am sure that shorter people have their own list of complaints, don't we all? Nonetheless, I am the one with the soapbox here.

I kind of got even when I was redoing one house I lived in. I set the bathroom sink to a level comfortable for me, about 10 inches higher than normal. Almost everyone who came in to wash their hands complained about the sink being hard to reach.

In such things, there aren't many compromises. Either it fits you or it doesn't. I can't imagine how some of these professional basketball players get by in life without going crazy.

It's hard enough to find pants in my size, let alone looking for a 40 length or something. What about their shoes? Size 18 don't grow on trees. Oh well, at least they can afford it on what they get paid.

Oh well, I am glad that my back is now more or less back to normal, but I still don't move without concern for the possible return of the pain, with which I parted slowly.

As for me, I think I will be more careful in the future. Then again, I say that every time I hurt my back.

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