I was driving along last week and was greeted by a startling sight — a glowing red Santa Claus standing in a front lawn with Frosty the Snowman.

Maybe such a sight wouldn't be startling to many of you, but to us last-minute shoppers in the crowd, it was a bit of any eye-opener.

I don't even have my annual Yule cash yet and people are already out putting up decorations. Yes, I have yet to buy the first present, let alone figure out what I am going to get for everyone. So if you are expecting a present from me, you might want to lower the realm of your expectations to a reasonable level (something along the lines of "Merry Christmas" as I pass you on the street or "Have a good one" if I talk to you on the phone).

But no matter how dark and cynical I appear to be, I am still enraptured by the wonder of the whole thing — the bright lights and the smell of pine boughs in the air, the silly little musical things that play the same old dead carols over and over until the batteries expire, goofy decorated stockings and the whole nine yards.

I suppose it is just part of being an American to have all this hustle and bustle thrown in to the mix. What ever happened to the 12 days of Christmas? Now it seems to last more than a month.

Back in early November I remember seeing decorations for sale at a department store on a trip in to buy necessities. I didn't want to see decorations that far from the real event.

No wonder children are insane by the time they get their presents, what with all the anticipation. It's more than most people can stand.

I might as well learn to like it and accept it like everyone else. There isn't much I can do about it. As long as people are making money, they will keep making it go earlier and earlier.

One day we'll celebrate that new holiday called Halogiving Christmas — an annual event that will begin on the last day of October with children getting candy and last through January 1st.

Just think of all the money we could spend then.

I think I will go out and look for a Christmas tree soon, possibly considering one of those that I can plant later or one I can just happen across on my land and drag home.

I'm not real big on expensive trees. I saw a fellow selling Fraser firs for $65 the other day and they didn't look all that grand. If I paid that for the tree, I wouldn't be able to afford to put presents under it. The one thing I don't ever plan to do is buy one of those artificial trees. I wouldn't want something that just looked like a tree. What's the point in that?

My parents installed a white artificial Christmas tree this year, resplendent with red bows and lights.

It looks like a cheap wig on a nice holiday to me. I don't like those things at all.

My mother tells me that real trees cause too much mess in the house; from setting it up to taking it down, it's nothing but a mess.

So what? Sometimes messes can be fun and even necessary. I want the whole thing again this year: sweeping up needles in the floor; spilling water on the presents while army-crawling on the floor trying to fill up the little dish; getting pine sap all over your hands trying to get the tree in the house and on the stand; and, last but not least, working for three or four hours trying to get a straight cut on the bottom of the tree so that it will sit up right in the stand and not be at a 12-degree tilt. Besides, my house isn't as clean as hers to start with. I'll hardly notice a few pine needles in the floor.

Since I am putting up a tree, I might as well do the lights thing, too. Tonight I plan to get out the ladder and start stringing lights across the porch to create a flashing spectacle for my neighbors to appreciate. There is nothing like doing your part to support the local electric cooperative by running 3,000 thousand watts of yuletide splendor on your back porch.

In the past I didn't put up lights and still noticed my electric bill was higher in December. "It must be all your Christmas lights," the company told me when I called. "I don't have any lights," I said. They seemed incredulous, noting, "Everyone has some lights." So I guess I may as well.

I want to do something unique, but I don't know what that will be yet. Maybe I will spell a word in lights this year. I remember riding through the countryside once and seeing the words "Merry Crismas" at a home on a hillside. I wondered at the time if someone did that intentionally to arouse interest or to make a neighbor with an English degree go insane. Maybe I will will do that for fun this year, just to see who complains.

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